Today is CD 14. Last month my first "normal" month, I surged on this day. So today I am kind of freaking out a little. I am like why am I not surging why am I not surging? I know last month I took the test at night, but it seems like I even had some signs my little 2 lined equally pink friends were on the way on CD13. Now its CD14 and nothing. So, what gives? I know every month i have done this OPK, I always get so impatient, and it seems like that 2nd line is never going to be dark, but I am trying to remind myself that this process happens very quickly, and it has consistently happened every month even when my body was all messed up from that Mirena. Certainly this time O will be during a normal range too. But still I second guess myself wondering, did I work out too hard? Did i drink too much this week? Yum though, that Toscana wine was worth the almost 2 glasses. That was the heighth of my tolerance on CD 12. My one glass of wine on each of the preceding nights did not fail to give me a headache before I could finish it. That is the wonder of the 2 week wait over and over again. It is making me a cheap date as my tolerance has run into the ground. Last night we had friends in town, and we had margaritas. I didn't get a headache so I kept on going having one more margarita with sangria, and 2 glasses of wine. The food was also delicious. I didn't get the headache until this morning, and this is just a slight hangover. So I got in my one last hurrah before o! If you're anything like me you know that this is perfectly fine, but I do want to point out that some people say regular excessive drinking is bad for overall egg production. I know this is a lousy post, but I don't care. DH says he is coming to pick me up at lunch so we can have eat together. So to get things underway or wait a bit still? Hmmmm....

So today is day 13. I was kind of expecting some signs that I am about to surge but none so far. I am afraid of working out during this time for fear of delaying the friendly little egg. But of course no medical studies support this. Perhaps this is ovulation derangement to think as such. I went to work this morning feeling like I forgot something, and once I was already half way to the gym where I park, even sometimes on days when I don't work out (See link to SMPAR blog) I remembered what it was. I had left my pee jar on the bathtub edge across from the toilet. I had forgot to dip my little egg detecting stick as well. Now I am freaking out that my dog is going to knock it over or lick it, or if I am lucky enough that such calamities will not occur, my husband will at least be grossed out where he is sure to discover it before me. (Refer to discussion of his unemployment at SMPAR blog.)
Woe is me. Fortunately I am not super busy at work right now (See triumph over failure at work blog.) 11 o clock rolls around and after having spent the morning hashing out my evening plans, and catching up on the blogosphere and news, I employ one of my unnecessary but cool guerilla tactics, and take the stairs for what I know will be a 2 hour lunch. Certainly 19 flights isn't such a big deal that it will delay my little friend. I get home and thankfully the air conditioning is in the mood to work. I crack open a diet coke, and think surely 2 in one day can't be so bad. . .at 300 mg that's 6 diet cokes! I run to the bathtub and rescue my friend quickly making the contents a hybrid am/pm sample. These little ovulation kits are getting expensive and I swear a different price every time I go to the store. This last one was $30! Yes a shocking price for me too. Maybe I am just starting to feel like it is adding up. In any event, I think the hybrid sample is a good idea, that way less chance of missing my surge. This doesn't even really make sense though since they can last for a while, right? I wait impatiently a few minutes, and it appears my friend will not be on the way until at least tomorrow. I must give it some encouragement. Perhaps some laughter will be good, tonight I will see the new Kathryn Hegl movie with MIL and see some friends for dinner, and then see some friends from out of town. Definitely a loaded night for me especially for a Tuesday. Oh no, do you think it is too much? Being social sometimes is stressful for me--I've heard stress can delay my friend. And unlike my surmising about exercise, I think that this is actually true.

Introduction

I chose the title too weak wait because on of our fellow Irish TTCers already has taken that domain, yet the dear has moved. So until they recycle the name we will be here. And perhaps too weak wait is more appropriate for some of us anyway. Do you ever feel more weak in spirit than when you are feeling fertily challenged? I just hope it doesn't make it hard for anyone who is interested to find me. Well maybe I'll retract that as well, like all things these days, my spirit doesn't feel too much into anything (except during the wait) so you will probably get better service from whoever it is that does eventually come upon that domain name.
So to introduce myself, I always thought it was just going to be a two week wait. Right? So many unintended pregnancies that it just must be very very easy. In fact, if you're anything like me, you've stalked baby center and were expecting you may be able to test at 7 dpo or 8 dpo, no 2 week wait for this womb! I am now on cycle 5. So no reason to be sounding the alarms about fertility yet, but again, if you're anything like me, you were back at the doctor after cycle 2. I think our family is starting to grow suspicious, we never breathed a word that we were going to be getting things underway just because somewhere one of us must have had a doubt. Unfortunately we have told a lot of friends, when they notice me not drinking during this not so fun wait. For some friends who aren't so upfront I say we're just trying to be healthy. For others who are more direct and come rushing up to me "OMG are you pregnant yet?" its hard not to smile and then have be a little more forthcoming. So to add to my hubby's stresses, I am wondering if he is starting to worry to that his friends think there is something wrong with him. I have been asking myself if I need to start self advertising more with the people that know, that I had an IUD and my cycle has been all messed up. Not true of all people who have had them, which you may know if you have been stalking charts over at TCOYF.com. Last month in fact was my first legitimate cycle, and hubby had been out of town, until two days after OPK+ (which you know the definition of if you are anything like me). So how is that for my first advertisement. Okay people? There's soemthing wrong with me, not him. Which if you're anything like me you already believe anyway whether you had an IUD or some other complication or not, you are convinced that your4 weeks or 10 weeks or 20 weeks of waiting so far are solely your reproductive fault.
So thankfully, today is one of my hopeful days, i.e. CD 12, which means O is just around the corner. If you are anything like me you have a nice little fade in pattern. I have steadily watched mine achieve its fully glorious pink color earlier and earlier each month, starting with day 22 on first try and now up to day 14. On the not so hopeful days, i.e. CD1--the mother of all not hopeful days when you're not even sure you want to play anymore,through CD 8 --when you just can't believe there's still another week left until your even back in the game. We will see if this blog is short lived or long lived, if you're anything like me, you're hoping for short.